The Accidental Matchmaker
by StarkidGleek12
Summary: Sue's mission has always been to bring down the glee club, but with the new directions heading to regionals after the sectionals debacle, Sue might finally have to admit defeat...until she finds a way to bring them down from the inside. But will it work or will she accidentally bring together two people who secretly need each other? I own nothing related to glee, please review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello again! As everyone already knows, I ship this couple really hard. Like, no lie! So I came up with another idea for a fanfiction. I was actually really impressed with the tribute to the movie ****_Ghost_**** in the movie episode. Also the hot Ryley kiss, was just, oh my. I kind of have a feeling the writers are pulling a finnchel with them. You know, everyone knows they're meant to be together, but they drag their feet with it. But seriously, the girl needs to get over her bad boy phase and stop friend-zoning the poor dude! Anyway, I wanted to try a multi POV story. Also, I've never really written for Sue, even though Jane Lynch kicks ass and I thought it would be sort of cool if she tried to bring down the ND yet again, but accidentally brought the couple together. Hey, stranger things have happened. And I also thought it would be cool to pay a pseudo-tribute to another amazing patrick swayze movie, Dirty Dancing. If you haven't seen it, GO. NOW! I own nothing related to glee and please review :)**

Sue's POV

Sue was sitting in the teacher's lounge, totally lost and confused. Her latest attempt to try to destroy the Glee club went up in flames. So, she drank her disgusting coffee and let out her feelings in her trusty journal.

Dear Journal,

This is it. I think I finally have to accept defeat. I tried to rattle Will Schuester's cage by walking down the aisle at his sham wedding in an exact replica of his neurotic ginger girlfriends' wedding dress, but it didn't work! How am I supposed to dismantle the Glee club if they keep getting back up every time they get knocked down? I almost thought they'd give up for sure when they lost sectionals but Blam struck and now they're on their way to regionals in a few weeks! Journal, has having a baby made me lose my mojo? And I refuse to spend another week with those incestuous sex-rats singing cheesy, overwrought, and excessively overproduced songs about being yourself! I have no choice but to destroy them from the inside. But how? Everyone acts like a huge family. Except for, THE SOPHOMORES! Schuester is relying on them to get his Glee club another national championship since all his powerhouse performers like Lady Hummel, the Latina lesbian, Big-nose Berry, and Precious graduated last year. We all know Trouty Mouth, the Asian whose name no one remembers, the better-dressed gay and the two who serve no purpose whatsoever expect for swaying in the background aren't going to be able to do it themselves. And the new kids are a ticking time bomb waiting to explode like Hiroshima. Marley Rose, the only one who I can't find an insult for, is the best performer he's ever had! She's a better singer than Berry and she's far less annoying and not a total spotlight whore! But she's more neurotic than the hollowed-pelvis, bird lady guidance counselor. And she has the two supposedly hottest guys on her tail fighting for her, yet she can't make up her damn mind! Why can't she accept already that she's going to be a singing nun because baby Puckerman and Lady Bieber are probably gay for each other?! She is the key to the destruction of the Glee club. When she had her breakdown and passed out at the end of that God-awful communist song, the Glee club lost sectionals! She has been looking a little on edge since Valentine's day. Puckerman probably broke it to her that she's his beard. And that football player…don't even get me started on him! Doesn't he realize that even Justin Bieber got sick of that haircut? Also, what is with all his too small, overly colored hoodies? He looks like a walking gay pride flag! Him and Will Schuester clearly need to go through a 12-step program for their weird sweater addictions. And he must have been stalking Marley, because no straight man remembers when a girl nonchalantly talks about her favorite flowers! He's either gay or he's going to grow up to be a serial killer. But I could have a little bit of fun with the three of them. I just need an insider to help tip the scales and lead Marley to an angry Taylor Swift and booze-filled breakdown! And I know just the person to help-Kitty! I NOW KNOW HOW TO DESTROY THE GLEE CLUB!

With this realization and new purpose, Sue shut her journal and let out a ruthless evil laugh, which did not go unnoticed by a passing Will Schuester and Emma Pillsbury.

"Ummm Sue, why did you just let out an evil laugh?" Schuester asked nervously.

"Because Sue Sylvester is back bitches!" Sue said triumphantly before sauntering past them into the crowded hallway of McKinley high school. She overheard a distressed Marley talking into her cell phone.

"No Santana, I will not have a threesome with them to see who's better in bed and make my choice that way!" she heard Marley shout angrily.

She saw her head bitch Kitty saunter down the hallway, high ponytail intact. "Kitty, in my office NOW!" Sue barked, opening the door to her office.

"Yes, Coach Sylvester?" Kitty prompted calmly.

"I need your help with something but before I tell you, are you friends with that Marley Rose?" Sue asked seriously.

"She seems to think I am, but I'm still going to gaslight her any chance I get." Kitty replied with an evil smile.

"Good. Have any dirt on her?" Sue asked.

"Well as a matter of fact, she revealed that the Bieber-haired moron kissed her and she let him, even though she's dating Jake Puckerman." Kitty replied mischievously.

"Perfect, just as I suspected. I need you to mess with her feelings for the both of them. She's the key to bringing down the Glee club once and for all!" Sue exclaimed

"Oh, I'm already ahead of you." Kitty replied confidently.

"Great, now get the hell out of my office." Sue said, ushering Kitty out.

Just then, Will stormed into her office in a little bit of a rage, clutching her journal and slammed it on her desk.

"You left that in the teacher's lounge. I can deal with you trying to screw up my life, but leave my students alone!" Will yelled.

"Why would I care about your students William? They're already scarred for life by being taught life lessons by a thirty year old man with a butt-chin with a fetish for singing sexually-explicit songs with children whose only friend is a nineteen year old failure." Sue replied unnerved.

Will just rolled his eyes and stormed out of her office.

"This plan might work after all."

Sue thought to herself happily.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, I watched 'feud'' and I want to know how one episode killed all my ryley feels! Seriously? Has Ryder never seen catfish? Dear lord. I refuse to believe they're over, it's going to happen at some point! They have so much pent up sexual tension, it's like they want to rip their clothes off each other every time they see each other! Anyway, enjoy the story...I'll try to update as soon as I stop crying over watching unchained melody on youtube wondering how the writers could be so selfish. Please review and I own nothing related to glee, if I did we all know what would happen.**

Marley's POV

Jake had broken up with her after she revealed that she let Ryder kiss her and he was totally ignoring her. The bad part was, this might be a good thing. She cared about Jake, but why was she thinking about Ryder? And why didn't she pull away or smack Ryder when he kissed her? She had to be in love with Jake, didn't she? Why else would she be feeling so guilty about the kiss? But maybe she really liked Ryder instead. If she was so in love with Jake, she wouldn't have pictured Ryder kissing her in the art room when Jake tried to recreate one of her favorite scenes from the movie _Ghost_. Her thoughts were interrupted by a text message from her mentor, Santana. "_Hey, Brit told me that u and Puck's brother broke up. Do u wanna talk about it, or should Auntie Snixx come back to OH and go all Lima Heights on his ass?"_

Santana! That's it, she'd know exactly what to do! She quickly pressed the green dial button and Santana picked up the call after one ring.

_"Thank God you called! We're snowed in and Lady Hummel decided to put in _Moulin Rouge_ for the millionth time. And Rachel is being a hormonal bitch right now. I desperately need a distraction before I get my first New York assault charge." _Santana greeted on the other end.

"Santana, I need your advice about something." Marley replied.

_"Marley, did you wake up in a strange room with no clothes and no recollection of what happened the night before? Or better yet, are you struggling with your sexuality? If you are, I'm here to tell you, a little experimentation with scissoring is not wrong, It's totally normal to be bicurious." _Santana replied seriously.

"No and definitely not Santana!" Marley said, totally exasperated.

"_Then what's wrong Marley? Is this about the breakup? The details from Brit, Tina and Blaine were really sketchy." _Santana asked curiously.

"Yeah. The reason we broke up is because I told him that I let Ryder kiss me after Valentine's day. He got really mad at me. Before I told him, he tried to serenade me in the art room by recreating the pottery scene from the movie _Ghost_. It was really sweet, but honestly, all I could think about was kissing Ryder." Marley explained miserably.

"_Fifty Shades of Glee fantasies set to cheesy songs? Wanky._" Santana said. Marley could just picture the smirk on her mentor's face.

"Santana! This. Is. Serious. What should I do?" Marley asked.

"_Well did you have sex with either one of them?_" Santana asked seriously.

"No! I almost did with Jake because he got a hotel room on Valentine's day, but I freaked out. And what does sex have to do with anything?" Marley demanded.

"_Sex is the basis to any relationship. I actually think all the horrible Puckerman sex I had with Puck was what turned me into a lesbian. It was awful. Consider not doing the deed with Jake a blessing in disguise." _Santana shuddered.

"Yeah, that does nothing to solve my problem, Santana." Marley scoffed.

"_Yes it does, grasshopper. I'm going to tell you the logical thing to do in this situation. Just have a threesome with them and whoever is better in bed is the one you're meant to be with._" Santana explained calmly.

"No Santana, I will not have a threesome with them to see who's better in bed and make my choice that way!" Marley replied angrily. "Are you high right now?"

"_Well, Rachel's live-in plastic sex toy might possibly be a drug dealer, so I wouldn't be surprised if he smokes the shit here in the apartment and we're all inhaling it._" Santana answered. "_Wait a sec, I think I have a solution for your problem. Forget about Jew-fro'd Puckerman and do a friends with benefits thing with Ryder. At first you're having sex without any guilt while letting it blossom into a beautiful relationship. Even I have to admit he's really sexy and if I were totally inebriated, I'd so let him screw me senseless._"

"Santana, I'm hanging up now. Goodbye." Marley said rolling her eyes as she ended the phone call.

"_That was not helpful at all._" Marley thought to herself as she threw her phone in her locker and prepared to go to Glee club practice. Where she would have to see both Ryder and Jake. This was going to be awkward.


End file.
